What the hell am I doing here?

I hate insomnia.
That’s how I decided to open my first-ever post on my first-ever blog; I’m sure some of you will be disappointed to read that I stepped back from my initial opening line ‘God damn you stupid worthless piece of sh*t insomnia. I hope you die!‘ to a somewhat shorter cleaner version; I now realize that not all people were raised like bogans.

I’ve been pondering quite a while whether I should start writing a blog. It always seemed like such a waste of time – why would anyone bother to read all the nonsense I had in mind? and then I thought it over and remembered that I do read other people’s not-so-interesting blogs myself whether as part of my job, or in my spare time – so yeah, I’m now certain someone will find interest in this!

Actually, what really got me going is the fact that I’ve been struggling to sleep normally for the past 2 months or so. After discussing this with my wife and a few friends, they all suggested I would go see a doctor. I decided to listen to my teenage kid and start complaining about it. Online.

So here I am, complaining. I’m a 56 year old father who’s unable to sleep – that sounds a bit childish, doesn’t it?
I must admit though that it’s not all bad; having these quiet nights just for myself can be fun at times: I get to drink a lot of Fourex while watching TV without anyone bothering me!

The downside of it takes place the next morning, when I’m at work holding my eyelids open, staring at the monitor like in the famous Clockwork Orange scene. I’m sure my boss is not too happy about it either, especially when I drink a 6-pack just to pass out and fall asleep and show up to work the next morning. Lucky for him, I don’t work directly with our customers, and I can do this job half-unconscious.

Can Facebook help me deal with insomnia?

I find myself writing a few words and then staring at random memes and pictures on Facebook. Gotta love Facebook, this decade’s biggest time-waster; I must admit it’s useful to a certain point when you find yourself unable to sleep, but once you reach the point of being unable to absorb all the shallowness that people express there, you’re done and you have to find something else to do, so you blog.

(Whenever I mention Facebook, it always reminds me of Louis CK. He’s one funny guy.)

What I’m trying to figure out is what caused this insomnia? I don’t remember having any sleeping problems in the past, but I think my sleep started to worsen 5-6 months ago when I used to wake up in the middle of night, unable to get back to sleep. I’m not worried about anything that I’m aware of; my mind is completely blank when I go to bed (my wife claims it’s blank during the day too) and yet I lay there completely awake. I want my sleep back – I, as most normal human beings, cherish my sleep very much!

-T

Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.
Jon Stewart (Not mine, that’s for sure.)